This may come as a surprise to people, especially outside of my family, but I’m a pretty private person. Don’t get me wrong, I will blog about every dating story I have or how I think I’ll be the star of 27 Dresses Part 2; but, when it comes to personal matters I like to keep it private. However, tonight I’m going to let everyone in on what’s been going on in my life. Why? Simply, because so many people are praying for me right now and I want every person to understand what they’ve done for my family and me.
So here is my story…
I’ve always bruised easily, but over the past couple months I’ve had some pretty epic bruises. One bruise went from my knee all the way up my thigh. I’ll wake up in the morning looking like I punched myself all night. Side note, did you know waking up with unexplained bruises means you were abducted by aliens? I’m still holding on to that possibility. Sorry, staying serious… On top of the bruising my legs have been swelling. Which is every woman’s nightmare! This, and a few other symptoms, led me to believe I should try going to this place called a doctor’s office. I went to my regular doctor thinking I had a vitamin deficiency or a crazy food allergy, and I left being tested for leukemia. I didn’t even know how to spell leukemia. So as you can imagine, that was quite the night. Let’s fast forward to today. I’m currently seeing a Hematologist, apparently one of the best in the nation, but to me he is a gift from God. I’ve never in my life felt like a doctor cared about me more than him and his entire staff. They know me by name. My nurse called yesterday and said that my doctor can’t stop thinking about me, that I’m always on his mind. Over the course of two appointments, I’ve had 32 vials of blood drawn (apparently I have a little left), ultrasounds done of my legs, I’ve been poked and pricked and now I’m just plain tired. Today I met with my doctor again and he believes I have a blocked vessel. The blood flows out of my heart, to the rest of my body but has a hard time getting back. This blockage could be the result of many factors, but regardless it needs removed. My doctor told me today that he’s ruled out leukemia, liver disease and kidney disease. PRAISE JESUS! That was a beautiful moment! This coming Wednesday I go in for a full body CT scan so the doctor can confirm it’s a blockage and identify the cause.
Over the course of this testing, I’ve learned so much. I’ve learned that a lot of people care about me. It’s amazing to wake up on the day of my doctor appointments to so many texts from my family and friends. I’ve learned that my parents are even stronger than I knew. You see, my appointments are at an oncology center. I sit in a waiting room full of people fighting for their lives, when I check out, the last thing I see is a sign encouraging people to beat cancer. It’s a scary place, but you would never be able to tell for a moment that my parents are afraid – that is what gets me through. I’ve also learned a lot about perspective. I whine that my legs aren’t thin enough, but my legs have carried me through three half marathons. Right now, while they’re swollen and bruised and it hurts to run, I am so thankful for my legs because they move. Finally, I’ve learned a lot about my faith. It’s really easy to have faith that God will protect me when I sleep, that He’ll bless me in my career but it gets a little challenging when I’m praying that I don’t have cancer. BUT, if there is one thing I know it is that I serve a mighty and strong God – I know that He will carry me through. So whether I am getting abducted by aliens or it’s a blockage, I know that God is in control. I know that whether it’s a broken finger or a broken body, GOD CAN HEAL. I was driving to my parents’ home today feeling a little scared, so I started playing MeredithAndrews “Not for a Moment” (you must listen to this song) when a semi-truck drove by and on the back someone wrote in the dust “God is good”. That my friends, is the God I serve. A God who hears me cry and answers.
So all of this to say, to those who are encouraging me daily with texts, messages and calls THANK YOU. With every call and text you are encouraging my spirit. Thank you for showing me love. THANK YOU for calling my parents and praying with them, I can’t imagine how hard this is on them. To those that are praying for me THANK YOU. It’s so amazing to me that people are praying for me all over the U.S. AND other countries. I can tell you one thing, I can feel it. People doubt God because they can’t physically feel Him, but I can feel Him. I can feel His peace saturating me. Every time fear creeps in, God pushes it out. It’s so amazing to me that people who have never met me are praying for me. Christianity is truly about being the body of Christ and being a family, and I’ve never seen/felt that more than now. If you’ve made it to the end of this post, I should probably thank you too. 🙂
God is so good.